summary of 20 years.

I am disappointed with everything.

Nothing can heal it.

A little bit of happiness but it does not last.

No more hoping for the best,

Only prepare for the worst.

huruf pertama dan terakhir

I'm stalking you more often than him. you should be lucky. lol

batuk perasaan.

*cough* *cough* i like you *cough* *cough* *cough* i love you.

kerana ini sahaja yang mampu.

i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i love you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you.

p/s : cari cinta.

pilih

kenapa taknak berubah? taknak atau takut? tapi nak takut apa? kalau belah sana tak baik, kita pilih sini. kalau sini tak baik, kita pilih balik sana. kuasa ada di tangan kita sebenarnya. mereka yang perlu takut kepada kita. tapi perasan atau tidak, kita yang paling berkuasa tapi tidak mendapat hasil yang setimpal dengan kuasa kita. ini demokrasi, bukan autokrasi. kita punya hak boleh tukar tukar.

p/s : chill lah ;)

org berguna

boleh tak jadi berguna sikit? ye, berguna. tak kisah lah berguna kepada diri sendiri ke,alam sekitar, benda, haiwan ke, masyarakat, negara atau luar negara.

nak ke hidup macam susu basi?
nak ke hidup macam jerawat di mana-mana?
nak ke hidup macam cincin yang tak muat dipakai?
nak ke hidup macam makanan yang ada tahi lalat?
nak ke hidup macam handphone tiada battery?

haaa benda benda tu semua tak guna. buat sakit hati je kan. so, mari lah menjadi orang yang berguna supaya tidak dibenci. sekian.

p/s : dengan niat yang ikhlas.

"WeChat"

okay haaaa korang tau lah kan cerita pasal wechat tu kan. yg advertisement by lisa and sam tu. dia sama jelah macam whatsapp cumanya dia ada banyak benda sikit lah boleh buat macam kita boleh cakap dgn org mcm walkey talkey gitu. (ok takreti eja) pastu siapa yg pakai android or iphone (taksure) tu boleh post gambar, update status apa smua. so mcm best lah jugak. hehe actually boleh je call, tapi guna duit en, and kena cakap lama2. ni kita guna internet je so murah lah sikit kot. yg ada wifi tu lagi lah jimat dah kat situ. pastu nak add org kat wechat ni boleh through num phone or ID. ok habis dah promote. hahaha

ok nak ceritanya pasal wechat sekarang ni, dia best sebab kita boleh dgr suara orang. lagi lagi orang yg dah lama kita tak jumpa. Ya Allah. rasa dia kan macam nak masuk dalam phone tu, pastu pegi jumpa org tu terus sebab rindu gila.

bila dah cakap pasal rindu ni, haaa haritu kita dengar lah suara 'dia' kat wechat ni tau. hm mmg cerita dia rasa macam nak nangis lah sebab dah berzaman tak dengar suara diaaaaaa. yg comel lagi handsome tu. lol. okay saraaaaa, be strong be strong! so haa camtu lah, ni baru dengar suara, kalau jumpa taktau lah nak cakap macam mana. boleh pengsan kot. heheh oklah ni je nak cakap. so jommah ramai ramai buat wechat. kalau nak add kita, add through this ID : SaraNsr
Toodles!

p/s : I always pray the best and i'm ready for the worst. Constantly love you :)

malas belajar.

nak balik nak balik nak balik. time, please fly fast cause i really need to go home. my heart is not here. i just dont feel like studying even sekarang ni tengah final :( this is sucks. and how the hell i'm gonna get a good grades if i'm living this way. THERES SOMETHING TO FIX BEFORE IT GETTING WORST!

1 year.

i think of you a lot today. like A LOT. know why? because today is my best friend's 1st anniversary with her boyfriend. and while shes having the sweetest time ever, aku pula fikir pasal kau sebab harini juga 1 year that we're not together. and idk why am i writing this. bye.

tak nampak ke?

My heart seriously want to scream. If only i can let it out as easy as ABC. so since i can't do that thing or even tell you, please realize that I really like you and i'm totally into you.

honestly, me.

feeling nothing

i hope one day when i talk or text you, i'll feel nothing. at least i know i'm strong enough to face this and my 'move on' decision is worth it.

renungan 1

harini aku belajar sesuatu. kalau kita ada masalah, jangan terus rasa marah, bengang, serabut atau pun apa apa. sebab kita kena ingat, orang di bawah kita which is, ada lagi orang yang tgh ada masalah lagi teruk dari kita. so apa yg kita boleh buat, we try to find a way to solve the problem. and ask forgiveness from Allah and ask for Him's help. i think that way is the best way. anything yg kita kaitkan dengan Allah mesti semua akan jadi smooth. :) InsyaAllah.

#NoteToSelf

admire

i really want to talk to you or yeah since zaman sekarang ni org jarang guna text kan, so i would like to say that i really want to whatsapp you. everyday im hoping theres a whatsapp text from you. but i know it wont happen. i know you wouldn't even remember me. even at my side kalau boleh mmg nak try whatsapp dulu. but im scared if its annoy you, you're busy, you dont feel like whatsapp-ing me, you are not in a good mood, i whatsapp you at the wrong time or anything else.... it just im scared. i know i should try but i dont know why i think of those things then tak jadi -.-" maybe im not confident enough with myself kot. ntah. haihhhh ok harap sesiapa terasa. lol. hahahahaaha byeeeee.

sedar

I know i can't have you. but i dont know why my heart need you.

question?

people doesn't care and why should i? yes, i always ask that kind of question to myself and yet i am still doing the same thing. even i know what the result will be. i just can't.

F everything up!

idk what is going on with me. i made something stupid lately. the decision, the word, and also the act. i'm lost. thats what i felt recently.

tahun baru.

So 2012 already end. Yes i cant deny that 2012 such a memorable year with good people. its really a tough year for me. I faced new things, lost the one i loved, and made new good friends. Alhamdulillah, semua pun okay and yg paling penting tak banyak drama. heheh i think its a year that i put on too much hope. I made mistake, the big one. and i regret. totally regret. even though its hard for me to face the reality, but at least i know how strong i am. so yeah, i believe that everything happens for a reason.

for 2013, i'm sure there'll be new chances,new challenges,new hopes, a little bit of happiness and sadness,but all i want is another good year ♥ Insyaallah.

I would like to say that i'm sorry for the all wrong doings towards all of you either with my intention or not. Thank you for those who made my 2012 full of cheerful and happiness. Lets open up a new chapter of our life and make it more meaningful. While dont forget to find Allah's barakah. InsyaAllah. :)

perangai

boleh tak kau tukar cara fikir kau dulu before kau nak suruh orang lain buat. buang jelah weh perangai ego kau yg menggunung tu, pastu jangan nak suruh orang asyik ikut cakap kau je. aku rasa patut ah aku tak boleh dgn kau sebab mesti orang selalu ikut cakap kau apa semua kan, sampai dekat aku, kau nak suruh aku buat macam tu mmg tak dapat ah. haha aku rasa kau yg typical minded. jgn nak cakap orang. and takpayah nak buat alasan, "dah memang perangai aku macamni, nak buat macamana" dudeeeeee, kalau perangai tak elok, boleh berubah kan? kalau dah ramai orang cakap kau macamtu, tolong lah sedar and ubah lah sikit even tak banyak. bukannya benda nak berubah jadi lagi jahat. kalau kau teruskan macamni, jgn tanya kenapa lah orang tak boleh nak ok dgn kau. oh kalau kau kata orang atau sesapa kawan2 kau takpernah tegur kau perangai mcmtu, haaa pandai2 ah pilih kawan. sebab kalau betul member, dia akan tegur kau to be better. tu baru betul 'true friends'.

sorry ah aku cakap kat sini sebab aku dah banyak dengar orang cerita pasal aku, tgk2 dari kau. aku dah kata, kalau takpuas hati, bgtau depan2. masalah between you and me takpayah nak cerita kat orang lain lah. now since kau pun takbgtau aku depan, hm mmg aku tulis kat sini ah. aku tak kisah kau baca ke tak, sukahati kau. kbye.

lalala

okay ni nak cerita just now i watched maria elena's highlight majlis pernikahan and also her story with her husband now. omg seriously i can cry tengok that video sebab comel gila tahap kuasa 10juta. they were in love for like 4 years and lastly, kahwin. ok thats the most important! i wanna be like them too. T-T

why?

kenapa kita selalu suka dekat orang yang tak suka kita?

kenapa kita selalu suka dekat someone pada waktu yang salah?

kadang kadang the right time, but not the right person.

kenapa kita suka dekat orang yang sakit kan hati kita?
kenapa orang datang dan pergi? (tak boleh ke stay je?)

kenapa kenapa kenapa?